college.
It's that time. The time where young adults finally break free from their sheltered worlds and live on their own. Breathe on their own. Become responsible. Some already have this responsible quality, but not most. I tend to count myself in with the responsible types. I'm a goody-goody at heart.
Last night, I went to a party. The "last hoorah before college" and it never hit me before last night that my structured world of friends and familiarity was going to be shattered. It already was shattered, really. Atleast the beginnings of a crack began forming May 1st, when seniors finally got up the nerve to sign Yes, I Accept to their college-of-choice's offer of admission. By Friday, the slowly increasing crack will turn to a million pieces as my friends spread out to a million different places to move on with their lives.
While this is a mild shock to my system, I can't help but feel like I've been disconnected. I came to the realization, driving home from the party at 2 AM (which, coincidentally is usually when I have all my insightful life thoughts), that I've been disconnected from most of my friends since April. Sure, maybe not on the outside, but certainly on the inside I steeled myself from emotions tied to being abandoned and pushed out. Losing the horse world inevitably prepared me for this moment. This week, and ultimately, I hope, for this life. Sometimes going through a rough patch leads you to greener pastures. We'll see!
marissa erin
